My brain scan that was supposed to answer all my questions about my seizure-like activity was cancelled due to COVID-19.
My university shut down, so I was sent home. The eye doctor I see for vision therapy to help with my conversion disorder is in Cincinnati, so I cannot see him until next year.
My follow up appointments with my neurologist has been cancelled.
All the progress I was making towards getting an answer has ended.
I am overwhelmed. I am stressed. I am sad. I am disappointed.
Philippians 4:6 says "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God"
Do not be anxious about anything? Sure, that sounds easy. Maybe this scripture is meant for people that aren't in the middle of crisis. Maybe this scripture is meant for people without health problems. Maybe this scripture is for people who do not have a diagnosed anxiety disorder.
Actually, no.
I was hesitant about writing this blog post, primarily because it can be considered taboo to talk about religion. What I want to talk about is not a matter of religion or a particular faith tradition, it's about how I learned to simply put my faith in God.
Matthew 7:24-27 tells a story similar to that of the 3 Little Pigs. There were to builders: one who built their house on the sand, and one who built their house on "the rock". A storm came. The builder that built their house on the sand had their house washed away by the storm. The builder that built their house on the rock had their house stay put.
Life happens. Events occur that make me anxious. I cannot control these events. I cannot control how these events make me feel. What I can control is my response to these events and to anxious feelings. I am going to choose to cling to God.
Right now, not a lot makes sense. I don't know when it will make sense or if it will make sense. Faith is so much stronger than the unknown. Faith is so much stronger than the uncertainty. Faith is so much stronger than the frustrations, anxieties and worries. Cling to what is good. Cling to what is true. Cling to GOD.
Comments