let's talk about empathy. a lot of times I get asked questions like "why can't you come to __?" and "why can't we go here to eat?" and "how come you don't drive". these are questions that I don't love to answer but I know answering them will help others understand more about me. I will say things like "I can't eat there because I have series of digestive disorders that require me to eat a restrictive diet" and "I don't drive because I am currently experiencing seizure-like activity and it is unsafe for me to be behind the wheel" to which they usually respond "oh". The thing is, I actually enjoy answering questions. I would prefer people ask me questions. And the reason for this is simple: answering questions breeds understanding and understanding breeds empathy.
I prefer when people ask questions rather than just look at my experience from the lense of their own experience. When people say things like "it's just a stomachache, how bad can it be?" they are looking at my experience of a stomachache based off their experience. What I would prefer is people asking me questions like "what are your stomachaches like?". It's a simple example but it is something that happens almost everyday. I do not want people to develop chronic illness so they can "feel my pain", nor I do not tell people about my health problems to seek sympathy. I do this because I want to be understood. Don't you?
please understand
--sabrina
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